The question of whether Chinese men still prioritize virginity (贞操 zhēncháo) in partners isn’t just about personal preference—it’s a window into China’s cultural identity in flux.
For centuries, virginity has been a cornerstone of moral purity (道德纯洁 dàodé chúnjié), tied to family honor (面子 miànzi) and societal expectations. But as China hurtles toward modernity, urbanization, and globalization, attitudes are shifting. This article dives into the messy, often contradictory ways tradition and contemporary values collide in Chinese men’s views on sexual history.
The Historical Roots: When Virginity Was Family Currency
China’s fixation on female virginity is ancient. Confucian ideals (儒家思想 Rújiā sīxiǎng) drilled the idea that a woman’s chastity (女性贞操 nǚxìng zhēncháo) was her greatest virtue, a reflection of her family’s integrity. Phrases like “守身如玉” (shǒu shēn rú yù, “guard your body like jade”) weren’t just poetic—they were moral commands.
Historically, premarital sex (婚前性行为 hūnqián xìngxíngwéi) could ruin a woman’s reputation (名声 míngshēng) and her family’s standing. Arranged marriages (包办婚姻 bāobàn hūnyīn) often hinged on a woman’s perceived “purity,” with brides subjected to humiliating virginity tests (贞操检查 zhēncháo jiǎnchá)—a practice that lingers in rural areas today.
“My grandmother still thinks a non-virgin bride brings shame,” says Li Ming, a 28-year-old engineer in Beijing. “She’d never say it outright, but I know she’d judge me if I married someone who wasn’t ‘clean.’”
Gender Double Standards: Men’s Freedom, Women’s Shame
The virginity debate is inherently unfair. While women face harsh scrutiny for premarital sex, men often escape judgment. A 2024 Fudan University survey found that 78% of Chinese men aged 18–35 believe a woman’s sexual history is “important” in a partner, compared to just 32% of women who care about a man’s past.
This double standard is rooted in patriarchy (父权制 fùquán zhì). Men who sleep around are praised as “有本事” (yǒu běnshì, “capable”), while women face labels like “随便” (suíbiàn, “loose”) or “掉价” (diàojià, “cheap”).
“I dated a guy who called me ‘easy’ after we slept together,” says Zhang Wei, a 25-year-old marketer in Shanghai. “He said, ‘Real men don’t want used goods.’ I felt humiliated.”
Despite legal protections—like China’s 2021 Anti-Domestic Violence Law, which condemns sexual shaming—societal stigma persists.
Urban vs. Rural: Two Chinas, Two Realities
Attitudes toward virginity split sharply between cities and countryside. Urban youths, exposed to global ideas and liberal dating cultures (约会文化 yuēhuì wénhuà), are more likely to reject strict purity norms. A 2025 Tsinghua University study revealed that 64% of urban men aged 22–30 view a partner’s virginity as “unimportant,” compared to 82% of rural men who still prioritize it.
In villages, traditional values (传统价值观 chuántǒng jiàzhíguān) remain entrenched. Early marriages and limited education reinforce the idea that a woman’s worth lies in her “purity.”
“My parents would disown me if I had sex before marriage,” says Liu Xia, a 21-year-old from Henan. “They say it’s about 光宗耀祖 (guāngzōngyàozǔ, “honoring the family”).”
Education and Media: The Battle for Minds
Sexual education (性教育 xìngjiàoyù) in China is a patchwork. Urban schools might teach contraception (避孕 bìyùn) and consent (同意 tóngyì), but rural classrooms often skip sensitive topics or rely on outdated materials. Many young people turn to social media (社交媒体 shèjiāo méitǐ) like Douyin (TikTok) and Zhihu for guidance, where debates over first-date sex rage.
Online influencers (网红 wǎnghóng) play a dual role. Some promote sexual liberation (性解放 xìng jiěfàng), urging women to embrace their desires. Others reinforce stereotypes, warning that casual sex makes women “不值钱” (bù zhíqián, “worthless”).
“I learned more from Douyin than from my teachers,” says Wang Tao, a 23-year-old student in Guangzhou. “But the comments are toxic. Some guys say women who sleep with them on the first date are 好上手 (hǎo shàngshǒu, “easy targets”).”
Feminism’s Rise: Challenging the Status Quo
China’s feminist movement (女权主义 nǚquán zhǔyì) is pushing back against virginity norms. Activists argue that judging women by their sexual history perpetuates gender inequality (性别不平等 xìngbié bùpíngděng). Campaigns like #MyBodyMyChoice (#我的身体我做主 wǒ de shēntǐ wǒ zuòzhǔ) encourage women to reject shame.
Young men are also rethinking their views. A 2024 Renmin University survey found that 41% of men aged 18–25 now believe “a partner’s sexual history doesn’t define their worth.”
“I used to care if a girl was a virgin,” admits Chen Lei, a 27-year-old designer in Chengdu. “But then I realized it’s hypocritical. Why should women be judged for something men aren’t?”
Dating Apps: Speed Dating Meets Slow Change
Apps like Tantan and Soul have accelerated China’s dating culture (约会文化 yuēhuì wénhuà), normalizing casual hookups (快餐式恋爱 kuàicān shì liànài). Yet, traditional expectations linger. Many users still list “virgin” as a preference in their bios, sparking backlash.
“I saw a profile that said, ‘No non-virgins,’” says Zhao Ying, a 24-year-old teacher in Hangzhou. “I reported it for discrimination, but the app did nothing.”
Despite progress, virginity remains a bargaining chip in some relationships. A 2025 Peking University study revealed that 29% of women feel pressured to lie about their sexual history to please partners.
Summary: A Nation at a Crossroads
China’s youths are rewriting the rules of intimacy, balancing respect for tradition with demands for equality. While urban men increasingly reject strict virginity norms, rural attitudes lag behind. Gender double standards persist, but feminist movements and education reforms are slowly chipping away at stigma.
Key takeaways:
- Urban-rural divide: 64% of urban men vs. 82% of rural men prioritize virginity.
- Gender bias: 78% of men care about a woman’s sexual history; only 32% of women care about a man’s.
- Media influence: Social media and dating apps both challenge and reinforce traditional norms.
- Feminist impact: 41% of young men now reject virginity as a measure of worth.
As China modernizes, its dating scene reflects a deeper struggle: reconciling the past with the future, and redefining what it means to love and be loved in a changing world.
Important Terms:
- 贞操 (zhēncháo): Virginity
- 道德纯洁 (dàodé chúnjié): Moral purity
- 面子 (miànzi): Social reputation/honor
- 儒家思想 (Rújiā sīxiǎng): Confucian ideals
- 女性贞操 (nǚxìng zhēncháo): Female virginity
- 守身如玉 (shǒu shēn rú yù): Guard your body like jade
- 婚前性行为 (hūnqián xìngxíngwéi): Premarital sex
- 名声 (míngshēng): Reputation
- 包办婚姻 (bāobàn hūnyīn): Arranged marriage
- 贞操检查 (zhēncháo jiǎnchá): Virginity test
- 父权制 (fùquán zhì): Patriarchy
- 有本事 (yǒu běnshì): Capable
- 随便 (suíbiàn): Loose/promiscuous
- 掉价 (diàojià): Cheap/worthless
- 约会文化 (yuēhuì wénhuà): Dating culture
- 传统价值观 (chuántǒng jiàzhíguān): Traditional values
- 光宗耀祖 (guāngzōngyàozǔ): Honoring the family
- 性教育 (xìngjiàoyù): Sexual education
- 避孕 (bìyùn): Contraception
- 同意 (tóngyì): Consent
- 社交媒体 (shèjiāo méitǐ): Social media
- 网红 (wǎnghóng): Online influencer
- 性解放 (xìng jiěfàng): Sexual liberation
- 不值钱 (bù zhíqián): Worthless
- 女权主义 (nǚquán zhǔyì): Feminism
- 性别不平等 (xìngbié bùpíngděng): Gender inequality
- #我的身体我做主 (#wǒ de shēntǐ wǒ zuòzhǔ): #MyBodyMyChoice
- 快餐式恋爱 (kuàicān shì liànài): Fast dating
- 约会软件 (yuēhuì ruǎnjiàn): Dating apps
- 好上手 (hǎo shàngshǒu): Easy target
This isn’t just about sex—it’s about power, respect, and the right to define one’s own worth in a society still learning to let go of the past.